Nothing Says Forever Like Our Own Grave

-I know this is a book blog, but hey, who said this couldn't be a story kind of blog as well! :] This isn't the whole story/chapter, just something I've been experiencing.

It's a snippet of what my writing is like. I see all these weird vampire and werewolf stories and I wanted a crack at it! So, if you don't mind, can you read it? I love feedback with a passion! 

~Think of it as a finished book and you are reviewing it! :D
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     The wind blew through my dark auburn red hair, lifting it up off my shoulder blades. It flopped in the cold wind, as if it was a leaf flying in the breeze. My breathing came out of my mouth in jagged short breaths. I tried to close my mouth and breathe only through my nose, but I couldn’t. From the speed that I was going, it wouldn’t work. I wouldn’t get enough oxygen in my lungs to survive. The idea of only having two small rounded airways was worst then having my mouth open. 

     It wasn’t as if it could help me hide.

     Even if I breathed through my nose, they could still hear me. If my breaths were silent, they would still pinpoint me.

     As long as I’m alive, I can be found without a doubt.

     The sun shone brightly on my head, making the top of my body warm, but the freezing air was prickling my face. I could see my breath in the air, a cloud of coldness. 

     My heart continued to beat frantically, increasing every second. I knew that my heart could burst any minute now, just for the simply fact that I was overworking my organs. I needed to stop and take a breather, but I couldn’t. That would mean the risk of getting caught. If they catch me… 

     I couldn’t even finish that thought in my head. 

     I tried to control my breathing, I closed my mouth, but not my eyes. Even with my enhanced speed and vision, I could easily run into a tree. If that event was to happen, this whole running-away thing would be for nothing. 

     I leaned against a tree for a few seconds before breaking into a sprint again. If I could reach humanity, then there will be nothing to stop me. I’ll be able to go change my name, adapt to my surroundings, and be normal. All I had to do was reach a human town.

     Closing my mouth didn’t help my heart at all. I exhaled a huge amount of air before trying to increase my speed. Fast enough so that no one could automatically smell my scent or be on my trail. I tried to throw them {people chasing me} off, by zigzagging through the forest. However, when my master finds out I ran away, he’ll find me in a nanosecond. That’s the worst part : having someone who knows you better than you know yourself.

     Stealing a glance behind me, I saw that no one was there. I relaxed at the glorious sight. They stopped chasing me. But, I could of swore I had just seen them getting closer to me. What would make them stop in their tracks? 

     I am worth more than that. It’s as if they don’t even know what they are dealing with.

     That’s a lot of truth in that sentence. They don’t. My villagers only know what my master told them, but he forgot one little important information. 

     I come from a descendent of werewolves. 

     That valuable piece of data is the only reason I am still alive today. My master may know me more than I know myself, but he has yet to find that out. The reason he hasn’t is because I never let him. I only come from them, but I’m not actually one of them. Only the men in my family can become one. The women only get a trait. The trait I received was enhanced senses. 

     After my master bit me, I had extra enhanced senses.

     Becoming a vampire was one of the best and the worst times of my life.

     “I hear her!"

     My eyes widen at the sudden, and nearby, voice. I shut myself off from my thoughts. I let out a gasp, which I knew I shouldn’t have. Continuing to run, I still threw glances around the sides of me. But, like before, there was nothing. Only trees with dark brown bark and a slimy green mold. No leaves had fallen, so I didn't hear any crunching.

     I felt the urge to slow down and try to find them, but that idea made me want to pinch myself. Why would I slow down? That’s just a trap in the making. I’d rather run into them full-on then wait around into they come into view.

     It didn’t stop me from twisting my head to my sides, trying to hear anything. The only sounds came from my foot steeping on leaves. My eyes darted around, looking for something unusual. But it was still quiet.

     Except an unexpected voice.
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The End! Well, not really, but that's all I'm posting. :]